Upholding Honor in a Dishonorable World

I used to judge people a lot. Thinking I was really good at reading them, I would hold them to my own perception and decide whether I love them or hate them. That was until God turned my life around and taught me one key component when it comes to His design of relationships and that is honor. Honor is something I believe has fallen through the cracks on a micro and macro scale of human relationships. Whether its in politics, religion, business, or anything else, the role honor plays in the fundamentals of social interaction seems to be withering. My hope for you, after reading this, would be that you would reflect on your own life, challenge yourself and find new ways to honor those around you.

Think about how often you shy away from talking about certain things because you're afraid of offending someone? Or think about how often you're actually offended by something someone said, or perhaps has done. Now imagine a world that held honor in high regard. This would be a world without offense because offense cannot live where honor is present. There is one bible verse that I believe calls this out and sums up what I can see as the very cancer that hinders honor above anything else- Proverbs 18:9 "A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city". 

Offense, like a strong city, will build up impenetrable walls of defense. Blocking out all view of the outside and yielding only to what you see within the walls that you built. As long as those walls of offense remain, there is no reconciliation, there is no understanding, and there is no honor outside of your own perception. So what can be done? As human beings, how do we live in an age where offense is so common and honor is less valued? The answer is simple. Be the solution, take a stand and seek every opportunity to uphold honor in a dishonorable world.

While this solution of upholding honor can most definitely apply to everyone, it especially applies to us as Christians. As Christians, we are children of God. As children of God, we are set apart. Set apart from the ways of this world that are not of His kingdom. Upholding honor would be to embody the very nature of God Himself and we would do well to understand it.

The verse that changed my world when it came to honor is 1 Corinthians 13:7— "[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things". Do yourself a favor and take time to slowly reflect on this chapter. Its the famous chapter that describes love, but the one particular phrase that shifted my whole paradigm was when it says love "believes all things". For as long as I can remember, I would judge or interpret people based on their body language, tone of voice, or anything else they're not saying before taking any of their words into account. But after reading love "believes all things", I felt the Holy Spirit challenge my whole way of thinking and reframe my approach on how I conducted honor (or lack thereof) in my relationships. 

What I came to realize was that by not honoring the words people spoke before anything else, I was not allowing them a voice and thus subjecting them to my own interpretations, judgements, or even accusations. This is how many people become offended with each other, dishonor each other, and directly contradict the way of love that "believes all things". But if I claimed to follow Christ and wanted to walk in love, I had to flip my approach by believing in the words people say first before responding in my own judgements.

As I reflected on this new approach, I thought about how often Jesus would respond with questions to those who opposed Him before He ever had any strong or corrective response. During His time of ministry the Pharisees, Scribes, and Sadducees would constantly come against Him and seek ways to trap Him in accusations. Even while He was able to discern the evil intentions of their hearts, He didn't sharply rebuke them right away. Nearly every time He would wait until their hidden motives were revealed through presenting questions and probing challenges. Once their motives were revealed and confirmed, only then would He respond in authority where He would clarify truth or rebuke firmly.

I thought this was the most strategic and honorable response because He never denied or dismissed them, but He engaged with them and heard them out. He considered their words and responded patiently by challenging their way of thinking. This not only honored them as people by allowing them a voice and understanding them, but it also gave them a chance to self-reflect and respond with the same honor and reason in order to find the truth.

There are many examples of this. But the one I find most impressive and truly displays Jesus' heart of honor is John 18:23. It was during the time Jesus was captured and brought in for questioning. This was the lowest point of His life. All of His close friends abandoned and betrayed Him. He was about to undergo the worst torture in history. Then, out of nowhere, An officer struck Him in the face because he didn't like how Jesus spoke to the high priest. How did Jesus respond? Not in offense, but in honor. Jesus asked the officer, "If I have spoken wrongly, testify of the wrong; but if rightly, why do you strike me?" 

In this moment, being innocent, Jesus did not cry out in offense and demand justice. He didn't strike back in anger. In honor, He simply looked at him who struck Him and asked him to explain himself. Why was this honorable? Because He allowed His enemy to have a voice. Jesus knew there was no chance He could have said anything wrong, but He chose to be open to that possibility in order to hear His enemy come to reason. 

This example Jesus shows us is how honor can even be upheld in the most extreme of situations. Given this example, lets scale it down and apply it to the lives we live now. As Christians, we follow Christ and by His grace we can walk the same as He walked by the power of His Holy Spirit. So what will you do the next time someone does something that seems off or mean?

Whether they unfollow you on social media, say something to you in a weird way, or didn't show up to your thing, whatever it is, how will you uphold honor in the way Jesus showed us we could? As seen by His example, here's a good place to start— never let your speculations or discernments conclude what has not been confirmed. Allow them a voice who seemingly, or even blatantly, oppose you and ask the right questions for the sake of love.

I'll conclude with the words of Apostle Paul,"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor" (Romans 12:10).