The Meaning of Life: A story of how I found it

As a kid, I had no idea who I was, what my purpose was, and where I truly belonged. Many would say those questions are too old for a child in elementary school, or ignorantly write them off as a phase that is soon to pass. I would argue that’s actually prime time for those questions to be answered. But as it were, those questions remained unanswered and my mind continued to wander. Feeling lost and hopeless, I became a desperate and depressed kid. My soul longed for those answers. Yet while no answer was found, I would try to find it in any way I could. For a long time, I thought maybe finding marriage was the answer. Simultaneously, sports seemed to be the answer for finding my purpose as well. But soon the inevitable came, and I

was left with something else.

I was in my college years partying with people every weekend with no real connection and suddenly it all became futile, fruitless, and meaningless. The elementary school kid inside of me begged the haunting question of my life “what is the eternal meaning of life? If we’re all just gonna die, what’s the point?” I saw the temporal and carnal fallacy of it all as I quickly realized this was not the meaning of life. I couldn’t follow the norm and ignore the question anymore. If the eternal meaning and purpose of life could not be found, there would be no point in living. Answering this question became a matter of life and death to me.  

Why wasn’t it a good enough answer to say the meaning of life is to get a good job with great benefits and to grow a family? Why wasn’t it a good enough answer to be a good person and build a legacy that blesses the generations that follow? They weren’t good enough because the reality of death. I could not justify the value of those answers knowing that death would bring it all to an end. But one thing spoke out to me as I recalled a memory back between the 6th and 8th grade. I remembered a random thought I had saying, “the meaning of life has to be to love”. No one had said this in my life that simply, but that was the best tangible answer I could see in front of me. I could not deny the truth of that statement, yet I had to know more. What was love? Why was it important? I believe it was the Spirit of God who gave me this truth to seek out and find the answers I needed.  

At this point, I always considered myself a Christian. But I never really understood the gospel nor how it applied to life. So my journey began by going back to church, bible studies, reading the Bible more than ever. Things began to click for me as I was reminded of Christ’s forgiveness, the creation story, the fall of man, the redemption of Christ’s blood. I was getting closer and closer. After all, while I wondered what love was, the scriptures blatantly says, “God is love”. But something wasn’t clicking. I was learning so much and everything was making sense. But I needed something more, something deeper. 

It wasn’t enough to know the meaning of life with my head. The thing I needed was to comprehend the meaning of life in my heart. It happened when I was at an evening worship service. I was trying to engage with the worship when I suddenly felt a grave emptiness. While everyone was standing, the emptiness felt so heavy, I had to sit down. God was speaking to me. He brought to my memory someone I had a great bitterness towards. Someone I felt extremely hurt by and whom I withheld forgiveness. Without words, I felt God say to my heart, “that person is my child, if you do not forgive and pray for them, I will not do the same for you.”

Those words struck me to the core. I felt fear turn into grief, grief turn into repentance, and repentance beget forgiveness within a matter of seconds. A burden lifted off me and I finally understood what it all meant. People could have told me a thousand times but I could have never understood it unless my heart was willing to comprehend it. This was the moment I found the meaning of life.

The meaning of life is to love. In order to love, you must know Him, God, Jesus who is love Himself. But more than knowing Him with your head, you must comprehend Him to the very root systems of your heart. By doing so, you live the very life He always intended for you to live. A life full of purpose, love, endurance, and joy that continues to grow to an even larger capacity of Him. A life that is not shaken by other peoples thoughts or the worries of this world. This is the meaning of life and the real life that was always meant to be.

"And He said to him, “‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’"

Matt. 22:37-39